Wednesday, March 24, 2010

ultimate gorilla essay

My Intro to Bio Anth students were asked to describe gorillas in the essay portion of their exam. Through the miracle of cutting and pasting, I have combined the "best" sentences and phrases to produce the perfect undergraduate essay. (Note to students looking for an essay to plagiarize: You don't want this one. No, honestly.)


Gorillas happen to be one of my favorite animals. The Gorilla is part of the great ape species and members of the Hominoidea order. Gorillas are found in the mountains and lowlands of southeast Asia, and in the mideastern part of the country Africa, on a mountain. Gorillas need tropical rainforests. They can also be on the side of mountains if they are covered in rainforest. At one point in time, they had a larger population and therefore occupied a larger area in Africa. However, Gorillas now only live in a more tropical area in the mountains of Africa. The reason this occurred was because more and more people (natives) started taking over more land for crops and possibly other "necessities".*

Gorillas are massive and silverbacks probably get up to 1000 lbs and 6 feet tall, while their female counterparts may account for half of their body size. They are terrestrial, quadrupeds. Gorillas exhibit sexual dimorphism, and have mandibles that extend past their maxillas, giving them a distinct look. They have sagittal crests and inconspicuous genitalia. They are very cute and lots of movies are made about them because they are very intelligent, but also very territorial. Gorillas are knuckle walkers and although they bang their fists against their chests they do not kidnap women and climb tall buildings.

Gorillas mostly sit on rocks and vegetate on fruits and leaves. Gorillas eat mainly leaves and a lot of them are not picky at all.

Gorillas have a social organization of alot of Gorillas but only one producing male. Gorillas live in monogamous pairs. Young males either challenge a silverback for his women, find women without a silverback, or steal young females and make their own group. The young stay and learn from their mother. They do not twin.

*In defense of this student, I'm hoping this is a quotation failure - that is, failure to understand how to use punctuation marks correctly - rather than mockery of subsistence farmers trying to feed their families.

1 comment:

  1. I beg to differ on the "do not kidnap women and climb tall buildings" part. Anybody who's ever seen King Kong knows this to be a falsehood.